A realisation, it was not a V8 engine, just a 2 cylinder engine that I ran on.

When I was a child, I was a small framed, and usually timid and shy around other people. I did not have a lot of energy, and was not good at sport, apart from Horse Riding. I recall the only time I got a place in school athletics, was when I paired with a friend in a ‘three legged race’. Standing side by side, our middle legs were held in a bag, hence the ‘three legs’. We came third in that race.

I believe I suffered from Asthma, or had similar type health problems, that were not diagnosed from an early age. At age 21 I was finally diagnosed with Chronic Bronchitis. It was not until my mid forties, I was also diagnosed with Asthma. At around age 30, I suddenly had problems eating, choking on my food,  and problems with my Taste Buds and appetite, plus other problems. I spent the next ten years seeing local Specialists without finding an answer.

Not long after moving to the city to Toorak, I saw an Asian Lady GP at a Women’s Clinic. Within five minutes she had diagnosed me with Scleroderma, then sent me off for Blood Tests to confirm same, before referring me onto a Rheumatologist Specialist. The Specialist advised Scleroderma was a very Rare Disease, with no known cure. He made me undergo various Heart and Lungs Tests, before advising me I had about five years left to live.

Those afflictions were not front and centre in my mind at home on the farm, where I was a fearsome Horse Rider and loved all my chores, my jobs around the farm, caring for our many animals.

It was in my mid twenties that I decided to become Superwoman. I worked full time, rescued many animals giving them Forever Homes under my care. I also followed my father, in re-training problem horses, and teaching children to ride  horses. I was married with two young daughters, both of which were involved in sports, with the eldest daughter Melissa heavily involved in Pony club, and all the activities in Showing and Competing in Horse Events.

My husband and I parted ways after 12 years of marriage. We had been best friends, but I never really wanted marriage. We are still good friends today.

It was at that stage I decided if I wanted to support my family and animals, and current lifestyle in the manner I preferred, I would rather a career, doing what I loved best. I loved numbers and Accounting, and the Law.

Hence the real Superwoman period, of working full time, and continuing in all my outdoor activities with the horses commenced.

I now studied by correspondence seven nights a week, from around 8.00pm until 1.00am in the morning. I allowed myself only four hours sleep each night, before getting up to start work with the horses at 5.00am each morning. This was  my daily agenda for the next five years.

It is only recently, looking back on my life, that I have likened that hectic lifestyle, to me thinking, believing I had an inbuilt V8 engine inside, when in fact it was only a little two-cylinder engine.

Hence this explains why I have finally run out of puff. Of course the added burdens of Arthritis, Osteoporosis and Scleroderma that had niggled at me for years, finally demanded my full attention.

I am lucky, in so far as I never dwelt on my shortcomings in my health and statue, instead I focused on my goals, and I strived to achieve all of them.

Working towards all my future plans and goals, was exhilarating, it made me happy. Many people use substances and other means, to find happiness. I can assure you, the satisfaction and happiness that comes from within, from  achieving each goal, cannot be substituted by other methods, least of all by using substances that have adverse  affects.

May I suggest, we all work towards our goals, as if we all have an inbuilt V8 motor , rather than a 4 cylinder or 2.6 cylinder motor.

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